scenario: you're with someone, they do something to you that's wholly relaxing in a way you've not felt before, like all thought's out of your head and can't take hold. like living in a fog where outside things don't exist.
It's a state I tend to associate with pain or profound trust and doing something difficult. If calling it subspace is upsetting and causing more confusion don't call it anything.
Type out every single thing you can think of about this experience that might be a problem for you. Not rationally or logically but any sorry you can possibly think of.
[That...is the most weirdly helpful thing anyone has ever told him to do when his head and heart fluster and turn like this.]
Then start with sorry for what mess I'm about to type
[But he thinks.]
It was vulnerable, like how I don't want too many ropes around me if one's to tie me up, but there were no ropes, just his fingers but I wasn't even in my head then. around anyone else, not just him, that's not safe, it's stupid.
If I'm not thinking, I'm not watching and if I'm not watching, I could let myself get hurt. Spent too many years with people wanting me dead to stop watching my back.
If I'm not thinking, then I'm not watching my head and that could mean something else gets into it. Bane, usually. My old god I followed, and he could hurt me or hurt others through me and I know he probably can't reach me no different than the Raven Queen can't, but it doesn't matter.
If I'm not thinking I'm not watching what I'm saying and if I don't watch what I'm saying, I'm like to say something I ought not. let something slip, hurt someone's feelings, something I'm not good with my words if I'm not working at it and words are as dangerous as a fist.
If I'm not watching me, then who is? Someone else? It can't be no one, but that's not a burden for another
[Vulnerable. If he's vulnerable then he's not him.]
[ That is the most productive response Crais could have helped for and has undoubtedly saved them both a lot of confusion and conversational circles. ]
The answer is that he was and it wasn't a burden. Dominance-Submission is referred to as power exchange. He gave you freedom from watching your own back, you gave him trust. Both of you have needs, both got met.
[He'd like to think it wasn't a burden. He'd like to think he helped Jon. On some level, he knows he did, he wanted to distract Jon...but then, hadn't he failed in being the one distracted instead?]
A good answer. One makes sense and is right but there's a piece missing here didn't say.
We didn't talk about it or plan it. It happened. I don't know if he needed that at all, might just've been a burden when he was already stressing out.
Guess next step is deciding if I want to feel like that again. Still shaken for it. Don't think it was bad, might even be good way stretching a muscle that ought be does. Don't know.
After that's the thought on whether I even want to try it with anyone else or if it was fine to happen cause it was him.
[A beat.]
This is a lot more than I meant when sending you. Sorry. But also thanks.
Fairly familiar is key. Grew up in a brothel, there were those with the specialty on both sides. Had Lux, taught me some of the rest or the 'modern' bits.
No one's sat me down for either, I wasn't meant to have involvement in the first and Lux only answered questions or did things with me as I wanted to try them. Can't ask a question I don't know to.
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notleavingquietly) wrote2037-07-18 11:23 pm
Text; UN: Ravens
when you've the time
Re: Text; UN: Ravens
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name that.
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Just touched my wings but a lot and all over and not the part that gets me feeling handsy, specifically told him which bit that was to keep from it.
[But...]
Was afraid you'd say that
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Whole thing's new. Mostly. For me.
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It's the feeling I don't know what to do with. Don't know how to parse it.
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I trust him. Maybe not with every little thing, but I don't trust anyone at all ever like that, so. Plenty enough and more than most.
He's my friend and a good man, despite his own thoughts on it and even some fool actions of his. He still tries.
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Then start with sorry for what mess I'm about to type
[But he thinks.]
It was vulnerable, like how I don't want too many ropes around me if one's to tie me up, but there were no ropes, just his fingers but I wasn't even in my head then. around anyone else, not just him, that's not safe, it's stupid.
If I'm not thinking, I'm not watching and if I'm not watching, I could let myself get hurt. Spent too many years with people wanting me dead to stop watching my back.
If I'm not thinking, then I'm not watching my head and that could mean something else gets into it. Bane, usually. My old god I followed, and he could hurt me or hurt others through me and I know he probably can't reach me no different than the Raven Queen can't, but it doesn't matter.
If I'm not thinking I'm not watching what I'm saying and if I don't watch what I'm saying, I'm like to say something I ought not. let something slip, hurt someone's feelings, something I'm not good with my words if I'm not working at it and words are as dangerous as a fist.
If I'm not watching me, then who is? Someone else? It can't be no one, but that's not a burden for another
[Vulnerable. If he's vulnerable then he's not him.]
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The answer is that he was and it wasn't a burden.
Dominance-Submission is referred to as power exchange. He gave you freedom from watching your own back, you gave him trust. Both of you have needs, both got met.
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A good answer. One makes sense and is right but there's a piece missing here didn't say.
We didn't talk about it or plan it. It happened. I don't know if he needed that at all, might just've been a burden when he was already stressing out.
Is it an exchange if no hands were shook on it?
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As for whether it is a burden or not, I have no idea. I'm not him. Ask.
Use the answer for future decision making about this particular thing with your wings.
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Guess next step is deciding if I want to feel like that again. Still shaken for it. Don't think it was bad, might even be good way stretching a muscle that ought be does. Don't know.
After that's the thought on whether I even want to try it with anyone else or if it was fine to happen cause it was him.
[A beat.]
This is a lot more than I meant when sending you. Sorry. But also thanks.
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Though now it's my turn for a question. I thought you were fairly familiar with BDSM.
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Grew up in a brothel, there were those with the specialty on both sides.
Had Lux, taught me some of the rest or the 'modern' bits.
No one's sat me down for either, I wasn't meant to have involvement in the first and Lux only answered questions or did things with me as I wanted to try them. Can't ask a question I don't know to.
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I'm glad you came to talk to me. Keep doing that if you find more questions.
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